How to be recluse and not talk to anyone on the subway

I'm sure any given individual who has taken the NYC subway a handful of times has had to run into the awkward moments of some nutty person speaking to them on accident or someone begging for money and hated every second of it. When you want to be alone, you just want to be alone and theres nothing anyone can do to change that, especially a stranger. Sometimes it's plainly just too early. Sometimes I'm in a really bad mood. Sometimes I just don't actually care.

But here's my tips on how to appear as a recluse on the subway and like it,

1. Use your phone. I know the complete opposite of what the rest of the world is telling you to do. But, do it. You'll look and feel important and like you have something you need to be doing, even if you're just pushing random buttons on the verge of wetting your pants.
2. Read a book. Or whatever is in place of books these days. You'll look and feel smart and slightly old fashioned. Books always have service, unlike phones.
3. Sleep  or don't because I have missed my stop so many times and ended up in the Bronx of Queens.
4. Read the newspaper. You know they still exist? They're 75 cents now. America...
5. Do your makeup. Ladies, I hate doing my makeup in a moving train car, but sometimes I know I have no time and, honestly it's something to do on the train.
6. Do some last minute work. Whether it be homework or work. Always good to review whatever you're doing.
7. Daydream and get lost in your thoughts and awkwardly look like you're staring at someone.

That's all. 

Please stand by for the closing doors